Funny Diabetes Quotes

Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you’re diabetic, then insulin is probably better.

For real this time - humor has some quite powerful benefits. Coping with a health condition like diabetes can get tough at times, and a good laugh is one of the most effective ways to immediately soothe tension and lower stress.

Daniel Sher

2022 Jun 24

5 min read

<p data-pm-slice="1 1 []">Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you’re diabetic, then insulin is probably better.</p> For real this time - humor has some quite powerful benefits. Coping with a health condition like diabetes can get tough at times, and a good laugh is one of the most effective ways to immediately soothe tension and lower stress.

Moreover, medical literature tells us that there’s a relationship between stress and immune function (whereby stress triggers chemical reactions that negatively affect the body). Laughter can serve the opposite purpose by releasing neuropeptides that prevent stress, in turn improving the immune system.

In this article, we’ve gathered funny diabetes quotes from the Internet to encourage a positive approach to diabetes management. You’re bound to have the dia-best time!

Punchy Diabetes Quotes

For when you need that extra self-esteem boost.

-“I’m not ill, my pancreas is just lazy”

-“I’ve got a needle and I’m not scared of using it!” 

-“Yeah, but can you chug a juice box in your sleep?” 

-“I’m as healthy as a horse (if that horse has diabetes)”

-“Don’t mess with me, I attacked my own pancreas!”

Relatable Diabetes Quotes

Here’s the best collection of quotes you and your pancreas can probably relate to:

-Please don’t sugarcoat it, I’m diabetic

-“If you can’t handle me at my 387, you don’t deserve me at my 102

-Sugar? Nah, I’m sweet enough

-My doc said I shouldn’t be making puns on diabetes it’s a serious disease.

I said I can’t help it doc, it’s a pun-creatic disease.

-My body produces insulin like a cow produces rainbows: It just doesn’t happen

-“I ain’t doin it” – my pancreas

-Math problem: I had 10 chocolate bars and I ate 9. How many do I have now?

Me: Hyperglycemia”

-My doctor’s concerned about my high blood pressure. I told him next time don’t leave me sitting in the waiting room for two hours

-I got 99 problems and they all involve carbs

-My doctor told me to lose weight, but I don’t like losing

-Walk for the cure? Wouldn’t it be better if we ran?

-Healthy diet day 1: I have removed all the bad food from the house. It was delicious.

-Diabetics: the only people who take drugs to avoid getting high. 

-“Life is like a box of chocolates…It sucks for people with diabetes.”

-When life gives you lemons, make Lemonade. With Splenda.

-Do you know the worst thing about being an alcoholic with diabetes is? All the shots.

-Diabetes is very serious. If it wasn’t they’d call it Livabetes.

Pick Up Lines 

For when you meet someone super fine like your insulin syringes. 

“I can’t stay near you much. You seem too sweet and I’m diabetic.”

“Enough carb counting. The only thing I want to count are the minutes until I see you again.”

“With you around Sweetie, who needs glucose tabs?”

“Baby, I just followed my CGM arrows and they pointed me straight to you.”

“Is your blood sugar low? “No, why?” “Cause you’ve been running through my mind all night.” 

“I don’t need to check your blood sugar to know you’re a 10.”

“You’re like my insulin, I can’t live without you.”

“What type are you? 

Me: Type-One-Derful”

Funny Diabetic Moments

To close it off, here are some of the funniest real-life diabetes moments:

“I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when newly divorced with two kids ages 8 & 11. Whenever we’d go out to eat, I’d order my food & then go to the restroom to inject insulin (because I wasn’t comfortable doing that at the table using a syringe & vial). The first time I did that when my kids were with me the waitress came back to our table after I left & she asked where I was. They told her I went to the bathroom to shoot myself. Needless to say, the waitress almost fainted.” – Barb Timmons Claus

“Had a low BG in high school to the point where I couldn’t walk. I sat down on the ground and I gave a dollar to my friend to get me a pop from the vending machine. He came back with a pop but knowing I was a diabetic brought me a diet lol… Laugh about it till this day.” – Eric Farias

“This happens often but while wearing a dress with my insulin pump, the pump slips from my bra and hangs between my legs!! Mind you I am a Kindergarten teacher so all the students laugh and say, “Look at your medicine!” – Cathy Stanley Stewart

“There were no pumps or testing sugar with a blood glucose meter. You peed on tape and compared the color it turned to on a chart. Anyway, my mother was always smelling my breath to make sure it didn’t smell “fruity” indicating my sugar was too high. People would be horrified when they heard her say “are you high? Let me smell your breath!” I didn’t get why people would stop and stare.” – Jill Bryant Weaver

Closing Off

Now that we’ve given your immune system a boost, how about improving your health further with the Klinio app

Our personalized, science-backed solutions allow you to manage your diet, exercise levels, and blood sugar in a convenient way.

Written by

Daniel Sher

Daniel is a Cape Town-based Clinical Psychologist. Diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes over 27 years ago, he now has a special interest in working with other diabetics (Type 1 and 2) to help them flourish. Daniel also provides psychotherapy to individuals, treating a wide range of psychiatric conditions. Additionally, Daniel provides neuropsychological assessments for people suffering from brain-based injuries and disorders.

Take a quiz and get your diabetes-management plan today!